Questions to Ask When Choosing a Therapist for Your Child

The right therapist for your child is someone who works mainly with children and teens, involves you as a parent, can see your child soon, and is clear about cost before you start. A few good questions on the first call will tell you most of what you need to know. Here are the ones worth asking, and what to listen for in the answers.

Once you’ve decided your child could use some support, the next question is often harder: who should we call? Search results all start to look the same, and it’s hard to know what to ask when you’ve never done this before.

You don’t need to be an expert to choose well. You just need to ask a handful of practical questions and pay attention to how the practice answers them. Here’s a simple list to keep next to you when you make those calls.

Questions about who they work with

1. Do you work mainly with children and teens?

Many therapists see a little of everything. That’s not a bad thing, but working with kids takes different skills than working with adults. Children often can’t explain what they’re feeling, teens may not want to be there at first, and parents need to be part of the process. Ask what share of the practice is children and teens. A practice built around kids and families will usually say so right away.

2. Have you worked with kids dealing with something like this?

You don’t need a diagnosis to ask this. Just describe what you’re seeing, like trouble getting to school, big meltdowns after school, worry that won’t let up, or a teen who has pulled away. Listen for whether the person on the phone sounds familiar with it and can tell you, in plain language, how they would usually start.

3. What approaches do you use?

Good practices use approaches that have been studied and shown to help, and they can explain them without jargon. If the answer is vague, it’s fair to ask what a typical session looks like and what your child will actually be doing.

Questions about how parents are involved

4. How will I be involved, and what will I hear?

With children and teens, parents are part of the solution. Ask how often you’ll meet or check in with the therapist and how they balance your child’s privacy with keeping you informed. Teens especially need some privacy to open up, and a good therapist will explain clearly what stays between them and what gets shared with you.

5. Will you work with my child’s school or pediatrician?

Kids don’t live in a therapy office. They spend their days at school, on teams, in activities and with family. Ask whether the practice will coordinate, with your permission, with teachers, school counselors, pediatricians and other adults in your child’s life. When everyone is working from the same plan, progress usually carries over faster.

Questions about access and logistics

6. Is there a waitlist? How soon could my child be seen?

Many practices have waitlists that stretch for weeks or months. If your child is struggling now, it’s worth asking directly how soon a first appointment is likely and how quickly the office returns calls. A practice that calls you back the same day or the next is usually a good sign of how communication will go once care starts.

7. Are sessions in person, and where?

Ask where sessions happen and how easy it will be to get there on a school day. A location that fits your family’s routine makes it much easier to stay consistent, and consistency matters.

8. What does it cost, and do you take insurance?

This is a normal question, and a good practice will answer it plainly. Ask for the session fee, whether they are in network or out of network, and what you’d need to ask your insurance company. If a practice is out of network, many plans still offer out-of-network benefits that families can use to seek reimbursement for part of the cost.

9. Can I talk with the therapist before we commit?

A short conversation before booking gives you a feel for the person your child would be working with. Ask whether the practice offers a brief call so you can share what’s going on and ask your questions first.

Questions to ask yourself after the first few sessions

Fit matters as much as credentials. After the first few sessions, check in with yourself:

• Does my child feel reasonably comfortable, even if they were nervous at first?
• Do I feel heard, and do I understand the plan?
• Do I know how progress will be measured and how I’ll be kept in the loop?
• Is communication with the office easy and timely?

It’s normal for kids to be hesitant at the start. But if after a few sessions you still don’t feel there’s a clear plan or a good connection, it’s okay to ask questions or look for a better fit.

How we answer these questions at Aspire

We wrote this list because these are the questions we’d want any parent to ask us. Here’s how we’d answer them:

• Children, teens and families only. Our whole practice is built around kids and the people who care for them.
• Parents are part of the process. We work closely with parents, and with your permission we coordinate with schools, pediatricians and other adults in your child’s life. We work with the whole world of the child: parents, schools, and community and faith leaders, along with the child.
• No waitlist. Our team returns calls within 24 hours.
• A free 10-minute call with our psychologist so you can see if we’re the right fit before you commit.
• In-person sessions at our office in Upper Saddle River, NJ.
• Clear about cost. We are a private-pay, out-of-network practice. Many families use their insurance plan’s out-of-network benefits to seek reimbursement for part of the cost.

Curious what the first call actually sounds like? Read What Happens When You Call Our Office.

Questions parents ask about choosing a therapist

Should I choose a psychologist, a social worker or a counselor?
All three can be excellent therapists for kids. What matters most is training and experience with children and teens, and how well the therapist connects with your child and your family.

How many therapists should I call?
Calling two or three practices is usually enough to compare. You’ll quickly get a sense of who calls back, who answers your questions clearly and who feels like a fit.

What if my child doesn’t want to go?
That’s very common, especially with teens. A therapist who works with kids every day will have ways to help your child feel more at ease, and can give you ideas for how to talk about it at home.

Do I need a referral from my pediatrician?
Usually not. At Aspire, you can call us directly.

Is it okay to switch therapists if it isn’t working?
Yes. Fit matters, and a good practice will want your child to be with the person who can help most, even if that means a change.

Ready to ask us your questions?

Call 201.639.4669 or email office@weallaspire.com. Bring this list. We’re happy to answer every question on it.